F08250_srusch

= "Sex without Love" by [|Sharon Olds](1984) =

Sonja Rusch
How do they do it, the ones who make love without love? Beautiful as dancers, gliding over each other like ice-skaters over the ice, fingers hooked inside each other's bodies, faces red as steak, wine, wet as the children at birth whose mothers are going to give them away. How do they come to the come to the...come to the...God...come to the* still waters, and not love the one who came there with them, light rising slowly as steam off their joined skin? These are the true religious, the purists, the pros, the ones who will not accept a false Messiah, love the priest instead of the God. They do not mistake the lover for their own pleasure, they are like great runners: they know they are alone with the road surface, the cold, the wind, the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio- vascular health--just factors, like the partner in the bed, and not the truth, which is the single body alone in the universe against its own best time.


 * Note: The author uses extra spaces instead of continuation marks between words here. I could not format this page to show those spaces.

Way 1: First Impressions
In "Sex without Love" by Sharon Olds, my first impression is that the poem addresses the issue of casual sex and its negative impact. What stood out most to me when reading through this poem is the many examples the author uses to express the selfishness of having sex as opposed to making love. When she describes the lovers, she says they are "like ice-skaters/over the ice" to convey the coldness of their feelings (3-4). She also compares them to "children at birth whose mothers are going to/give them away," as if to point out how unloved these people must feel (7-8). Finally, Olds uses the solo sport of running to characterize those who just have sex when she says, "they are alone/with the road surface, the cold, the wind" (18-19). She uses this analogy to point out the feelings of solidarity and loneliness that such choices will create.

Further questions that I have that I would like to explore more are: Is Olds using the act of sex (and running) as visualization to address the deeper issue of individualist versus socialist behavior? Or, applying Occam's razor, is casual sex really what it's about? Is the spacing in line nine indicative of a climax of the author's thoughts? How are the religious references significant? And I'd like to explore the importance of sentence separations to the form and subtext.

Way 2: Engaging with the Text
"Sex without Love" is a poem of free verse. While there is no consistent meter or rhyme scheme, there are still many language relationships to consider. For example, Olds repetition of the word love four times and lover once throughout the poem underscores her central theme. She could use other words to describe love, such as adoration or affection but she doesn't. It's as if she doesn't want the reader to lose focus on what is so very important about this poem's message. Olds also uses alliteration as a tool to signify certain points. For instance, when she uses the words "the purist, the pros...the/priest" she draws attention to this particular section as an imagery tool (14-16). While our focus is held, we may read the three lines again as they say, in entirety, "the purist, the pros, the ones who will not/accept a false Messiah love the/priest instead of the God" (14-16). Here, I believe, she explains that these people who think they are so great and gifted in the act of sexual deeds are so singularly focused that they are missing the bigger, more rewarding picture of the art of making love, not just with body, but with soul. It is definitely an area that she would want the reader to reevaluate, hence the draw of the alliteration.


 * Note: I looked but could find no audio reading of this poem.

Way 3: A Point about Form and Its Relationship to Content
The form of this 24-line poem is not broken into stanzas. Though some poems have unannounced stanzas where there is no line break, I do not believe that this is one of them. When introducing seemingly different ideas such as religion or running, Olds carefully weaves the fresh thought directly into her previous point. For instance, line 12 "rising slowly as steam off their joined" runs right into line 13 "skin? These are the true religious," (12-13). I believe this is intentional writing to demonstrate how she wants her examples to be part of the central theme instead of their own entity.

Way 3: Another Point about Form and Its Relationship to Content
A very distinct point in this poem is in line nine when Olds creates extra spaces in between her words. The line is, "come to the...come to the...God...come to the" (again, the continuation marks are not really there, they are holding the place for the extra spaces as I cannot format the spaces on this page) (9). Here, in my opinion, she is using space to exemplify the correlation between utterances of love making at the climactic point to her frustration with the world of casual sex. She is mixing sound with dramatics to make her point instead of overbearingly and dryly pointing to, what she considers the shame of anonymous sexual behavior.

Way 4: Unpacking an Instance of Figurative Language
Olds uses the simile "Beautiful as dancers" as a way to describe two lovers (2). Envisioning a couple dancing, one can imagine the grace and fluidity of their movement. So, denotatively, this statement can be explained as the essence and sensuality of two people flowing together in the same rhythms, as one. However, when looked at more closely, dancing together as a couple and making it look easy is a professional and much practiced art. Alternately, two amateur dancers would, most likely, fumble and falter a bit, therefore lessening the beauty. Also, when the public sees dancers perform, they are seeing a finished product of a routine that has been cultivated over time, through much study and diligence. Another element of the beauty between two dancers is seeing the elegance of their costumes. Ordinary people and dancers, themselves, don't walk around in dance outfits, it is all part of the image that gives the show a finished appearance. Olds does not say that the lovers are like a pair of doves flying through the air. This could also be seen as an image of beauty but that would be an act of natural instinct and ease rather than a performance for show.

Therefore, it may seem that the speaker is paying a compliment to the lovers at first, but I believe that there is deeper meaning here. In comparison to the act of making love, the speaker is specifically talking about couples that "make love without love" or those who have no commitment to one another (1-2). In this reference, how could they appear to move with the fluidity and ease of dancers unless they have each made a career of practiced detachment? In order to appear beautiful, they would have to perform repetitious movements that they have done over and over again before. While it may be aesthetically pleasing, it is an act without feeling or meaning. This analysis correlates with the rest of the poem's theme of how degrading casual sex is. Like when the speaker says, "...just factors, like the partner / in the bed" (21-22). The same could be said for dancers, that if their partners change it bears no difference in the performance or the act itself.

Way 4: Another Instance of Unpacking Figurative Language
One instance of image to unpack would be the line, "the fit of their shoes" (20). The speaker is referencing the runner when she provides this information. When I think of that image alone though, it immediately brings to mind a sense of pain or comfort to the sense of touch. The shoes you are wearing, no matter what your activity can very much affect a personal mood. Their "fit" is an important factor in bringing about an expected outcome. For example, the fit of a high heel shoe may be painful to the wearer, but the usual circumstance in which to wear them would be for an appearance of elegance. To this degree, they serve their purpose. However, no one would want to play a sport wearing them. In this poem, the line is used to describe one of the elements that a runner would consider before participating in the act itself. He or she would look in a closet full of shoes and select a pair that would feel the most pleasing for a run.

The speaker then goes on to say that this "factor" to the runner is "like the partner/in the bed" assumingly to a participant of casual sex (21-22). It is therefore implied that choosing a sexual partner may come down to looking around just to see who would fit the best and feel the most comforting depending on your mood. Just as you would not choose high heels for a run, you would not choose a partner that would give you anything but the outcome in which you seek.

Way 4: Another Instance of Unpacking Figurative Language
Yet another piece of figurative language that deserves unpacking is the simile, "faces/red as steak" (5-6). Faces are personality descriptors. No matter how similar, no two are completely identical. When someone looks at our face, they immediately make a judgment about us, be it intentional or not. This may have to do with the expressions that we make as well. We may come across as sweet, mean, concerned, sad, surprised, etc. My point is that, however we come across to people, our face is one of our most personal attributes.

Red is a warning color. It's an overwhelmingly noticeable and flashy alert. It makes us stops as a traffic signal, turn our heads as a sports car and warns us of trouble as blood. The latter descriptor is what I think of when I think of a red steak. To describe one's face as "red as steak," brings a perception of a bloody, oozing and raw slab of meat as one's most forefront and personal trait (6). If someone looked at a face like that, they would be disgusted and would most likely turn away. Why, then, would the narrator choose to describe a sexual partner in such a manner, if not to detour us from this image? It's as if she would rather have the reader walk away in complete nausea than to ever take part in this experience.

Way 5: Analyzing the Setting
Because "Sex Without Love" works with a more abstract idea, Olds chose no single setting that envelopes the entire poem. However, there is a point at which she describes the surroundings of the runner and that will be my focus here. The setting that the narrator describes is that the runner is "alone/with the road surface, the cold, the wind," (18-20). The solidarity of the solo runner coupled with the bitterness of "cold" weather and the bite of a crisp "wind" is a very fitting scene to enhance the theme of this poem (19). If the speaker had described a day that was warm and breezy instead, it would have given the reader a very different feel. The importance here is to lend the reader the sense of ambiance that a couple engaging in an uncommitted sex act would most likely feel. The mood here also suggests a hurriedness to accomplish a set goal, just as the runner would be outside to do the workout but would be anxious to be done and inside where it is warm. This would fit contextually with the poem as sex being a means to an end, instead of an act of love.

Way 6: Identifying and Analyzing Point of View
This poem is written from the third-person objective point of view because the speaker refers to the characters as "they" and the only way we know about them is from their actions. For example, when the speaker says, "They do not/mistake the lover for their own pleasure" we know that the characters are interacting as lovers (16-17). In true third-person form, however, the reader is to deduce what they think from the actions taken (Brown 65). Here, even though the speaker never addresses herself and she is not specifically part of the action, she clearly makes her opinions known. When she says that the characters "love the/priest instead of the God," this is how the speaker perceives them, not necessarily how they actually feel (15). When the poem is seen through the speaker's point of view, it should then be classified as first person (Brown 63). However, the opinion of how to perceive these characters is ultimately left to the reader to decide their opinions of the actions taken, so I do believe it is set at third-person objective.

The reading is not set in third-person limited point of view. In that case, the story would have been told through the voice of one of these such lovers. If it were set this way, the reader would gain insight into their feelings and know more about why they do what they do. Perhaps the reader would even gain more compassion about their situation. Clearly, that is not the point that the author wants to convey though. The speaker does not want us to sympathize with these couples, but instead to question the morality of their decisions.

Way 7: Analyzing Complexity, Ambiguity, & Difficulty
I find the statement "the ones who will not/accept a false Messiah" to be very ambiguous (14-15). In fact, I am still confused by it but hope to understand better by unpacking it here. By "the ones," the speaker is referring to the people who use sex for entertainment only (14). The word "messiah" means he who has "delivered mankind from original sin" (American Heritage). Therefore, literally, the statement could be interpreted that such people refuse to believe in any deity other than God. More connotatively though, it could also be understood that they believe in such a savior because he will accept them with their faults and transgressions. In other words, they know they are sinning and are counting on forgiveness to justify their acts. In essence, it would mean that instead of being sorry for what they have done, they are taking advantage of the situation and engaging without remorse. Of course, most religious people would see this as a skewed point of view and forgiveness would come only to the truly repentant. This would seem to be the more fitting approach to interpret what the speaker is saying because it fits better with the context of the rest of the poem. For instance, when she says, "just factors, like the partner / in the bed, and not the truth" (21-22). Here too, the subject person or people are looking at the situation as something that they want to be true rather than contemplating the reality of what they are doing.

Way 8: Considering Canonicity
"Sex Without Love" is a canonical piece of literature. It holds its own place because of its rich figurative language and cultural importance. A huge contributing factor of its language importance is its interesting use of metaphors. As proof, the poem contains, "beautiful as dancers" (2), "like ice-skaters" (3), "faces/red as steak" (5-6), "wet as the/children at birth" (6-7), and "like great runners" (18). Some of the images are beautiful and some are not, but they are all vivid. They are impressionable on the reader and not easily forgotten. They are part of the glue that grips and engages the reader to want to read this poem repeatedly for fuller comprehension.

The cultural relevance of this poem is also significant. Its subject matter may be uncomfortable but it is a realistic portrayal of a growing problem within current society. It holds importance today, not only for its examination of how and why moral values are slipping, but also because of the side effects of sexually transmitted diseases. Even if this behavior were to stop now, the canonical value of this piece would not be diminished. It would be a clear literary representation of this time in history.

Way 9: Biographical Context
In the quest for further truth of "Sex Without Love" it is valuable to look at biographical information about Sharon Olds. Through research about her, I found indications about her style and self that are relevant here. Many of her writings take a bolder approach to sexuality than I am used to seeing ("Sidelights"). As I found, this is a reflection of her, personally. According to the book __Notable Poets__, "Her depiction of sex as a means of healing and triumphing is one way she combats the memories of an unhappy childhood" (Allen et al. 806). Rather than detached writing, Olds uses her emotion to work out the essence of what she is trying to say. To elaborate, the book also says, "Olds poetry is about one woman's connections (physical, sexual, emotional) with family members and lovers of the past and present" (Allen et al. 805). So, this seemingly brave approach is part of her style but also part of her person. "Sidelights" says, "Out of private revelations she makes poems of universal truth." Setting such personal truths to a larger scale helps to engage and enlighten the reader of her opinions. An example within this poem could be when the narrator describes lovers of a detached nature as, "These are the true religious...the ones who...love the priest instead of the God" (13-16). In her life, has she encountered people who are disjointed or maybe misguided in their religious interpretations and therefore confused about who and how to worship? I would venture to say that she has - and that we all probably have at one point or another. She then makes the connection for the reader that it is the same type of line blurring that causes casual sex to be accepted within society. She provides a clear parallel here when she writes the words, "come to the/still waters" within the poem (9-10). I cannot help but to notice that it is a clear reference to the Biblical 23rd Psalm which says, "He leadeth me beside the still waters" __(Holy Bible__, Psalms 23). While some writers explore the unknown aspects of humanity, the evidence that I have found would suggest that Olds focuses, instead, on what she knows to be true from her experiences. 

Way 10: Historical and Cultural Contexts
This poem was written by an American poet in 1984. We can consider it common knowledge that sexuality had become more open in the 80's than it had been in previous decades. One needs only to pay attention to television commercials, magazine covers, song lyrics and other media of the time to discover that sexually explicit displays were commonplace. As further proof, a study reported by __Social Forces__ reveals a spike in premarital sexual behavior from the early 70's to the early 80's (Bozendahl and Myers, 770). Of this finding, the report says that it "demonstrate(s) substantial liberalization of attitudes among both men and women since the 1970's" (Bozendahl and Myers, 771). Yet another survey was taken in 1988 and reported in __Journal of Sex Research__, found that emotional detachment of women with multiple sex partners was higher than that of women with few or singular partners (Davidson and Darling, 149). Such cultural changes are easy to notice and hard, for some, to address. This is not the case for Sharon Olds, though. Living in these times and observing such sexual behavior transformations within society, Olds tackles these issues head on and goes against the grain. One line from the poem that stands out to illustrate this point is, "wet as the/children at birth whose mothers are going to/give them away" (6-8). The picture she plants for the reader here not only implies an intimacy that is soon cast away, but it also addresses the trials of unplanned pregnancy as a side effect of careless behavior. Here again, detachment is necessary for coping.

Way 11: Theoretical Application
One way that "Sex Without Love" can be interpreted is by reviewing it from a psychoanalytical perspective. In this vein, one question that a literary critic may ask is, how does this poem stir basic, unconscious urges in the reader? My immediate answer would be the line, "come to the...come to the...God...come to the" (9). This line seems to scream out as a human orgasmic need is being awakened and satisfied. The momentary primal sexual release has the power to grip the reader and capture a deep longing. However, as Freud would also note, while this urge seems to have been met here, the satisfaction is fleeting. Freud suggests that people go through differing stages in life, just as this poem brings the reader through individual stages of involvement. So, as the satisfaction of the moment dissipates, there is then contemplation and in the end, they are left with an alone and incomplete feeling. This sentiment is voiced in the line, "single body alone in the universe" (23). To say it another way, the id part of the ego was rewarded and quieted in the beginning, but the thirst of a soul cannot be quenched by what it does not truly seek. Love is the response it requests. This further illuminates my understanding of the poem by explaining the human conflict within and demonstrating the cause and effect complications.

Way 12: Another Theoretical Application
Another way to interpret this poem would be to review it from a New Critic theoretical approach. This type of technique is not interested in reader feeling, but rather with how the text itself develops the interpretation (Brown and Yarbrough). For instance, they may investigate why a form of the world "love" is used five different times within the writing (1, 2, 10, 15, 17). The emphasis here would be on its repetition. Why would this word require prominence in the poem? How is it helpful in defining its meaning? I believe that the repetition here is to offer a balance to the overall theme of guarded distance. Its service is to provide a continuous reminder. A New Critic may also probe further into the meanings of some of the similes that decorate "Sex Without Love." For instance, if they chose to investigate "beautiful as dancers" or "like ice-skaters/over the ice," they may focus on their irony (2, 3-4). While they are seemingly pleasant optical images, their deeper and more prevalent purpose is to imply rehearsed and practiced behavior. These factors illuminate my understanding of the poem by further emphasizing the importance of language in its relationship to theme.

Way 13: Unifying Interpretation
As it is clear by now, one must consider many factors when interpreting "Sex Without Love" by Sharon Olds. It is a poem that combines the themes of social issue, of moral complexities, of religious parallel, of thought provoking ideals and, most surprisingly to me, of love.

This poem is ripe with figurative language. It is, perhaps, my investigation here that was the most helpful to begin my deeper understanding of its meaning. The similes and images provided by Olds jump between soothing and raw, comforting and disturbing, much like the issues that she addresses. The form gives a similar feel with its unpredictable, but also smooth meter. It has its own ups and downs. As if the poem takes you for a ride, yet grounds you at the same time. The setting, too, goes from cold to warm and back. Again, as a whole, it is indicative of the subject matter. The thrill of sex peaks excitement and then the emotional disappointment of being alone sets the reality.

One of the biggest attributes of the poem, in my opinion, is that in dealing with a current event topic and taking such a solid stance on the issue, the overall feel is realistic rather than preachy. It is not meant to insult but to inform and intrigue the reader. This adds value to its canonical and cultural value. The poem is also written purposefully without mention of gender. It is clearly meant as an appeal to all. It is a shout out, to those who will hear it, to bring love back into the most intimate of actions.